Walking Out on Werner Herzog

Walking out on Werner Herzog

Werner Herzog is not my lover, He’s just a guy who thinks that I am the one

Werner Herzog, you are the most over-rated director de jour
Yet the hyperbole surrounding your career seems to settle upon you
Like a golden sheen, the gleam of the reflection of the Oscar that
You did not win.
Even at this event at Arizona State University, as you were introduced by
Professor Lawrence Krauss
Who, albeit an amateur, stars as a wheel-chair bound, bad-guy in your film,
Salt and Fire (2017), which got a 16% ‘like’ rating on Rotten Tomatoes,
Krauss says you are — pause — ‘the greatest living Director’

Why?
What for?
That mess of egotism, exploitation, and dysentery called Fitzcarraldo?
For the wandering boredom of Cave of Forgotten Dreams?
For the gratuitous gore of Grizzly Man?
In Salt and Fire, written and directed by you, there are
Boob jokes (scene: Actor A fondles Actress B in the airplane)
Poop jokes (scene: Actor A and Actor C get diarrhea)
Disabled jokes (scene: Actor D – Krauss, in his toggle-stick wheel chair connotes trust and menace simultaneously; it’s funny that he has the keys to the handcuffs, right?)
Indeed, not since Dumb and Dumber has there been such inane use of the
Scatological.

As evidence of your dubious directing prowess, take the scene where Actor E raises his voice abruptly to Actress B; intensity apparently can be conveyed by shouting through a ski mask. Herzog, you directed those actors accordingly, flattening not increasing the tension.
No, you are not in the same league as Ang Lee, Clint Eastwood, Kathryn Bigelow, Alejandro Inaarritu, Ron Howard, Martin Scorsese, Damien Chazelle, James Cameron, Steven Spielberg, Roman Polanski, or the Coen Brothers.

Werner Herzog is not my lover, He’s just a guy who thinks that I am the one

When we saw you at the Getty in Los Angeles a few years back, at a lecture event on Music and the Movies,
You were on stage with the great cellist, Ernst Reijseger
Who played and played while you talked and talked, even implying that
Your own talent (film-making) was greater than the ability to play an instrument
Sweetly, sorrowfully, masterfully
Ernst Reijseger took his cello around the darkened auditorium,
Up and down the blue-lit aisles, into shadowy corners, to create reverberations
Tonalities of such subtly that they were able to create actual
Mood, harmony, disembodied sound between his thighs, pure art

While you looked on impatiently, waiting for it to end.

Werner Herzog, please know this: humility is greater than honor
Discipline and practice are greater than reputation and sycophantic trends
An Opera House in the Amazon might have been an achievement, had you not the
Hubris to defy Nature, and want things only your own way.

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